Here’s a little guide to breaking down the emotional and physical effects of adderall on the average, non-psychotic, schizophrenic-free, lazy human.

Unless you’ve been living as a drug addict in a filthy crack house in Compton for the past five years, chances are you’ve heard of the controversies surrounding amphetamines – specifically Adderall, and more specifically its prominence on college campuses across the country.

For anyone that has ever tried this little power packing stimulant, you will know that it’s effects are un-fucking-believable. Within the first hour of taking the drug, you feel more focused, determined, alert, on task, active, everything you’re usually not on a hungover Sunday morning and have a weeks work of homework to catch up on. But what these side effects can translate to, in terms of activities when one is not taking the drug for the sole purpose of studying, (at least in my personal opinion) can be very interesting… You may find yourself feeling:

  1. Friendly. Old friend you haven’t seen in a while? Call, write them an e-mail, or talk to them of facebook chat for a little while. The “speed” effects of the drug make communicating with people more enjoyable: you have so much to say that you can barley get the words out of your mouth fast enough.
  2. Strong, positive emotions. I love this song, this web layout is beautiful, the layout of this magazine is blowing my mind, etc. You will find yourself appreciating the way things are put together to produce a larger, aesthetically pleasing result – something you wouldn’t usually bother noticing.
  3. The urge to organize everything in your life, whether it be color coding your underwear drawer or putting every file on your computer into overly specific date and alphabetically ordered folders.
  4. The desire to take on a new task – something that normally you would think is a good idea but wouldn’t dream of having the motivation to complete it.
  5. Emerging yourself completely in any task you’re already involved with while waiting for the drug to kick in (a special warning: don’t start playing tetris, bejewled, pacman, or anything else that could steal your attention for 3 hours if you’re trying to get something important done). You can read a book or watch a movie and come out of it feeling like you’ve been in a trance.

Speaking of trying to get important things done, that’s the reason that most college kids take non-prescribed Adderall in the first place. To write essays, homework, stay up all night studying. But there is another side to the drug that’s not all about school work. You can also use its magic focusing powers to complete other, more interesting activities, such as completing your quest to find the funniest video on the internet, going through your itunes library to complete your list of all time favorite songs, or going through friends’ pictures and going through pages of google searches trying to find the animal they most resemble. Sadly, yes, I have done all of these things. And I have no regrets.

As someone who has been diagnosed with attention deficit disorder and taken the drug on a mostly consistent basis for about 6 years now, I have learned the ins and out, ups and downs of concerta, ritilan, adderall, and the like. I can tell you the street prices of these drugs, how much you should take your first time, how to deal with the stomach aches, dry mouth, and other side effects, drinking orange juice will make your comedown easier, drinking excess caffeine will probably make you miserable, eating will make you less irritable, and melatonin (available at drug and vitamin stores) is a miracle sleep aid. These are the things doctors do not tell you when you’re failing chem and would rather cut off your own rotting arm with the closest tools in reach after you’ve been trapped under a fallen boiler in your basement for two days then attend summer school. These are things that only experience and hours of reading online forums about stimulants can tell you.

I am not and never will be a doctor. I have more important things to do. But being a google junkie as I always have been, I’ve tried searching for adderall and have found not one comprehensive site that tells me the important stuff about my medicine. Of course the chemical facts, purposes, side effects are out there.
The listed medical side effects may be easy enough to translate into why you’re feeling what you’re feeling.

  • irregular heartbeats
  • dry mouth
  • headache
  • loss of appeptite
  • diarrhea
  • insomnia

But college kids are getting smarter – if they’re going to fuck around with a non prescription drug they’re gonna want to know what they’re fucking with. It’s important that information is out there, not just the physical side effects, and it’s important that after you’ve taken 30 milligrams and you’re obsessing over something to obsess over you can look up whats going on inside your brain. Or what to expect before taking it. Or why your friends are being so short with you when all they’re doing is looking up which picture of a screeching baboon most closely resembles your default picture.

As always, be careful: don’t do something you don’t think you can handle, do your research, and pray that your friends love you enough not to compare you to the this fish.

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Here’s Today’s Inspirational Quote:

*Note: So here’s the deal with the Inspirational Quote posts.  These quotes or videos…sometimes maybe a picture or two, will not likely be inspirational at all in the traditional sense.  Rather, they might inspire you to continue living life knowing that you are smarter than at least some people, as evidenced by the quote I share with you.  Or, in the event that I actually post a quote that may be construed as really ‘inspirational’, I will likely proceed to make fun of it and/or anyone who is sincerely inspired by the painful cliche.  So for now, enjoy.*

pushed past mental capacity

“I have opinions of my own –strong opinions– but I don’t always agree with them.”
-George Bush

Alright, alright, I know what you’re thinking: “that’s a cheap shot, anyone and everyone makes fun of George W.”  To that I say, you’re right, but it’s still fun.  So, let’s keep up the streak, and make Georgie’s life even more of a running joke.  So here’s the breakdown:

– First off, in this quote our good friend G.W.B. he says he has opinions.  I already don’t believe him.  Then, he proceeds to state that said opinions are strong.  This is where the laughter sets in.  The only strong thing that I believe Mr. Bush junior is capable of having is an ape’s ability to make feeding tools out of sticks and maybe the arm strength.

– But alas, it all comes together in the last part of the phrase.  He doesn’t agree with “his” strong opinions…aannnndd all is right with the world once again.  For a second there I was afraid that G.W.B was actually capable of some sort of intellectual activity.  They aren’t his opinions at all, or they are and he doesn’t know what opinions are…or some combination of both.

-I leave you now with what I hope is empowerment to go through your day with a sense of accomplishment having successfully evolved from our primate counterparts.  If, however, you do not have such a sensation after having read this post, you should probably just stay in your house for the rest of your life and become an idiot blogger…or run for president of the United States.

First off, I would like to take example (A) to illustrate my point:

Not only is it disgusting that this photo was saved as “Squat1” when i downloaded it, but I think there’s far more to it then a misused athletic stretch that the commercial rap world (or any sane human being) is ready to handle.

  1. Her choice of sitting but spread leg stance highlights the bulging, clumpy matter known as her things. Also, if you stare long enough she starts to look like a chicken.
  2. Yes, we get it, you’re a female in the rap game and that’s hard and whatever. Nicki had somewhat of a more pleasant sound when we first noticed her commercial success in “Bedrock” – sounding more like a cute west coast pop star than the degenerate ghetto mess we now know. Up until we heard “let me put this pussy on your sideburns”. Ew? How big is your vagina and what are you doing with guys with sideburns?
  3. Back to the “cute girl” thing. Nicki, you can’t have it all. You can’t turn tricks on the streets of Queens and then sing in this cute little voice that little white girls love, but then mislead them with your beastly lyrics and make the white girls throw up all over the help while they’re in the middle of a private equestrian lesson. Please have some discretion.

Nicki Minaj is one of the first successful female rappers we have seen in a while. But please, Lauren Hill is rolling over in her metaphorical grave. Just because everything Lil Wayne touches turns to gold doesn’t make you sexy. It just means you’re catchy and your voice isn’t as scary as Trina’s (allowing for said commercial success) and you’re on YOUNG MONEY RECORDS for Christs sake. But whatever. Nicki has a few words on her image as a “sex symbol”.

I think now I’m kind of proving myself, but before, people thought I was more of a sex symbol or wannabe sex symbol. That’s why I make the goofiest faces; I don’t want people to think I’m up here trying to be cute. I’m trying to entertain, and entertaining is more than exuding sex appeal. I don’t think that’s fun. I don’t find it fun watching someone trying to be sexy. It’s wack. I’m trying to just show my true personality, and I think that means more than anything else. I think when personality is at the forefront, it’s not about male or female, it’s just about, ‘Who is this weird character?'”

Yes, that is what Nicki Minaj exudes while she poses squat on her floor with her private parts splayed out for the world to see – she’s just being fun and playful ya’ll!!!!! Nicki Minaj has also begun appearances at children’s birthday parties to promote her rap career.

But despite whatever inappropriate definition Minaj has for fun, I have to give her credit. There are virtually no popular female rappers that have come out in 2010. The last era of female hip hop was most popular when Queen Latifa was around, far before she set her sights on world domination and was solely focused on putting out good music. And I’m all about women empowerment and all. It’s great that Nicki has made it and has tons of money and can finally move her mom out of Queens and afford to distance herself from her abusive father. That is fucking fantastic. But when I’m trying to listen to Drake, I don’t want to hear that you preform sexual intercourse so well that some men may confuse your vagina with a jacuzzi. One, that’s just confusing, and two, I can’t be bothered with such visual images. I have enough going on right now with the oil spill and the slow loris arriving on US soil (finally!) that I don’t need to constantly hear the word pussy in every song. It’s startling. And upsetting.

"Say some sex shit like wetter than jacuzzi bitches" - Minaj, Baddest Bitch

My final words: Nicki, I’m really happy that you’ve made it. But honestly everything about you just grosses me out a little too much to allow me to fully enjoy your success. Just watch out for loose bolts next time you’re hungry on the Young Money World Tour.

Here are some facts and charts I feel are relevant to my lifestyle:


This is a segment that we, the EvilGen-eye, like to call “things we care more about”…

While perusing FoxNews.com today, I came across today’s breaking Entertainment news.  It was about, wait for it…KATE GOSSELIN’S NEW BOOB JOB!!! Wow, I’m so glad I finally found out about this, and that I’ll be able to sleep tonight.  I had really been wondering if she had opted for plastic teetays, and who convinced her to do so, but now that I know it was her bodyguard’s idea, all is well in the world. That was a close call.

You can see Kate’s breaking news story for yourself below.

Kate Gosselin\’s Teetays

Now, things we care more about than Kate Gosselin’s boob job:

1. how many red lights a cab driver waits at per day

2. how many hairs my dog loses daily

3. the number of pines needles on the average christmas tree

4. how Mr.T came up with such a stylish ‘do (years ahead of his time)

5. why I “Can’t Touch” that, MC Hammer…

What do I, an EvilGenius, have in common with the

Beastie Boys (other than unprecedented amounts of

swag)?

Your answer lies in your corner deli.  I suggest we all buy the following ingredients and ball out with a drink of kings.  Drink, pour, mix, enjoy.

…but no one really cares, do they? Here are more pictures of some girls you wish you were:

i’ve heard some commentary that this photo would be better if that girl wasn’t black but i believe that may be a touch racist.


nonchalant expression + nonprescription glasses = apathetic false intellect

nothing like a little naked suicide to reaffirm your love for human existence


a note about photo credit:

despite the legal issues surrounding copyrighted photographs, i don’t really know where my pictures came from. Blogs, unofficial photo websites, mostly more blogs. What I can say is the sources of my pictures are most likely not the original. If you are the artist of one of these photos, congratulations on being featured on our website!

thanks to the duffle bag

the brown paper bag

the nike shoe box for holding all this cash


when murdering people isn’t cool anymore, i’ll stop being cool.

some things are more important

Inappropriate vs. Appropriate

he can do whatever he wants

when not to wear sunglasses